My Girlfriend is Pregnant, Now What?

She’s pregnant. You might feel like the ground just shifted beneath you. In moments like this, you may not have control over what’s happened—but you still have influence over what comes next.

How you respond and how you support her will say more about your character than almost anything else in your life so far.

Take a breath. This isn’t the time to react—it’s the time to respond. Let’s walk through what she’s feeling, what your options are, and where you go from here.

Is My Girlfriend Pregnant?

Before making any assumptions, it’s important to know for sure. If your girlfriend hasn’t taken a pregnancy test yet, that’s the first step.

New Hope PRC offers pregnancy testing at no cost to her, and she’s welcome to bring you along for support.

If a test has already come back positive, the next step is an ultrasound to confirm whether the pregnancy is viable.

Why does that matter? A pregnancy test only detects a hormone that indicates pregnancy—it can’t confirm if the pregnancy is developing properly or still continuing.

At New Hope PRC, ultrasounds are available at no cost, and partners are encouraged to attend. It’s a chance to get clear information and take the next step together.

What Not To Do When Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant

When life feels out of control, the instinct to run or lash out can kick in fast. Try to slow things down. Here are a few things to avoid while you both process what’s happening.

Don’t Walk Away

The situation may feel too big to handle, but walking away only adds to her fear. She’s carrying the physical and emotional weight right now. Even if you don’t have the right words, your presence alone can steady her.

Don’t Fight

Tension is high for both of you. It’s easy to turn fear into arguments, but that won’t help either of you move forward.

Right now, your role is to listen, reassure, and stay calm. You don’t need all the answers. You just need to show up.

What Options Are There?

When it comes to the pregnancy, the decision ultimately belongs to your partner. She can:

Carry the pregnancy and parent
Carry the pregnancy and make an adoption plan
End the pregnancy through abortion

Statistics show that most women in unplanned pregnancies—around 60%—decide to carry, while about 40% choose abortion.¹

But it’s important to remember: pressure should never be part of the decision. Women who feel pushed toward abortion by a partner often experience significant emotional distress, including symptoms of post-traumatic stress.²

Your influence matters most when it’s rooted in respect. It’s her body and her choice—but she shouldn’t have to face that choice alone. Talk honestly about your hopes, fears, and what the future could look like for both of you.

“I’m Not Ready To Be A Dad.”

It’s okay to admit that you’re scared. Most men don’t feel ready to be dads—especially when it happens unexpectedly.

But readiness isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about being willing to grow. Fatherhood can bring out parts of you that you haven’t had to use yet—strength, protection, perseverance.

You don’t have to have the perfect job, house, or plan. What matters is your commitment to show up and learn.

Try not to get caught up in fears about money, freedom, or missed opportunities. There’s support available, and many men discover that what they gain far outweighs what they lose.

Plenty of men regret walking away from fatherhood. Almost none regret stepping into it.

Support in Show Low, Whiteriver, and Springerville

You don’t have to face this alone. New Hope PRC is here for both you and your partner.

The center provides:

All services are confidential and free of charge.

Sources

1. https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-and-abortion-northern-america
2. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/08862605241253026